My Choice
by lottapeanutbutta
Summary: How could any of this happen? I hung my head in my hands and felt the tears trickling down my face. Because of me, of my choice, Jake had run away.


Disclaimer: NOT MINE

How could any of this happen? I hung my head in my hands and felt the tears trickling down my face. Because of me, of my choice, Jake had run away.

Billy had called to tell me that morning. According to what Sam had told him, Jake was somewhere in Canada and in wolf form – and he was defiantly planning on not coming back to Forks anytime soon. "He ran away because of you, Bells."

Alice saw me crying hysterically, and Edward had immediately wanted to come over to comfort me after she told him, but when he called I decided I wouldn't let him. I needed to think and not have any vampiric influence on me for once. Especially because I needed to think about what Billy had said: "You're the only one who can bring him back. Since you drove him away, so you can drive him back."

This is what happens when you try to think with your heart and your head – your heart wins, I thought glumly, wondering what to do. My head had told me from the start that Jake would be the safer, "better" choice for me in my life, but my heart argued for Edward. Yes, it said, he's not as stable, but you love him to the end of time and back. And, with him, you can get to that point.

I knew that Embry and Quil would help if I needed it. They could find Jake and lead me to him; and then I would be protected too, so Edward couldn't argue for him needing to be with me.

But I couldn't go. Alice was watching my future to make sure I didn't do anything drastic – exactly like this. She would tell Edward if my future just disappeared, and then he'd come after me and then Jake would be gone forever.

I grabbed my phone, the decision firm in my mind. Edward was not going to like this.

:

I was right. Edward begged, pleaded, and dazzled me to try to talk me out of my "crazy scheme" as he called it. It didn't work. Jake was my best friend; I love him. I can't just leave him scared and alone in the Canadian wilderness!

I tried explaining that to Edward. I cried, I sobbed, I bribed. Edward wouldn't barge on the fact that he wouldn't let me go – at least not alone. "I'm bringing Quil and Embry with me. What better bodyguards, besides vampires of course, than two huge werewolves?"

He sighed. "Bella, it's not that simple..." I could hear Alice grabbing for the phone in the background. Having obtained it, she echoed Edward. "Bella, if you died, I wouldn't be able to See it until they brought you back to Forks in pieces. For once, listen to Edward. Please?"

But we both knew at that moment that I wouldn't. Just like before, I was putting myself in danger to save someone. And this time, I refused to let anyone get hurt.

Alice sighed, presumably having seen my course of action in a vision. "Well, don't stink yourself up too much, okay?"

:

Driving my car out to La Push was surreal. It felt so familiar, but I knew that it had been months since my last drive out there. I toyed with the diamond on my finger as I drove over to Sam and Emily's.

Emily immediately engulfed me in a hug, whispering how much everyone had missed me. The boys were out, she explained, but would be "home" soon.

We sat and talked, and she noticed the ring. "The vampires, then?" she asked, no judgment in her voice.

I nodded. "But it wasn't an easy decision, and I can't say I don't regret it at times." Try every other minute, mostly those when Edward's not there with me – like now.

Quil and Embry came in then, surprise etched on their faces when they saw me. "Hey!" Quil laughed, coming over to hug me. "What are you doing here, Vamp Girl?"

I laughed too; it was hard not to around Quil. Embry came over and hugged me too. It felt like I'd never left them all. "Looking for you two, actually."

"Oh?" Embry looked up from the slice of pizza he'd started devouring after letting go of me.

"Yeah…" I sighed. "I need help. Like big, huge wolf kind of help." They both snickered. "No, seriously. I know about Jake, and I know that I can find a way to bring him back. But I need you two to lead me to him."

Quil cocked his head to the side, ever reminding me of a puppy. "Em? What do you think?" A smile played across his face. Embry nodded, giving him a thumbs up. "Well, I guess we can help you, Bella."

:

The plan was this: Embry and I go in the truck, him driving. Quil would scout ahead of us, and use their mental link to tell Embry where to go. "An in-your-head GPS," he joked. Then, once we got to the off-the-road part of the "trip", Embry would phase and I would ride him. Then, a little ways away from Jake, they would wait for me and I would go find him.

We Googled the nearest town to Jake; it was three hours away from Forks, give or take some. I groaned. "What, not looking forward to that much time with me?" Embry joked as we climbed into the truck.

"No," I sighed, buckling myself in and making sure I had the backpack with their extra clothes in it. "It's just that I'm worried about him, but at the same time I want to punch him."

Embry started laughing. "We all heard about the last time that happened, Bella, so don't punch him again!"

I scowled, looking through the window into a sheet of rain. "Not a very pleasant memory." He looked over to me, a question etched on his face. "Never mind," I dismissed with a wave of my hand, "let's just follow Quil."

:

Hours and lots of rain later, we were in the woods about half a mile from where Jake was when the rain finally let up. "Bella?" Embry shook me. "We're here."

"Hm…." I groggily looked around for the huge wolf I expected to see in the trees around us. "Where's Quil?"

Embry smirked. "We beat him here." Cocking his head to the side, his smile got wider. "He's not too happy about it either."

I sighed. Boys will be boys…

Suddenly, the huge wolf in question crashed into the clearing in front of the truck. Running over to us, he growled at Embry and licked my hand when I reached out to pet him. "Hey, Quil!" I laughed, scratching him behind the ears.

He nodded his head to the side, gesturing to the woods he just came from. Whining, he bumped his head against my hand, and then looked pointedly at Embry. "I think he wants you to phase," I said, looking into Quil's eyes. He nodded slightly, a happy and innocent shine in his eyes.

Embry laughed. "Ha, that's what he's thinking, but in more words that are impolite to say."

I laughed with him as Quil tried to play up the innocent puppy look. "Well then, let's get going." Looking sternly at Quil, I added, "And don't think you're going to get away with that, because you're not."

Turning around, a huge wolf the color of dark chocolate stood behind me. I smiled, reaching out to scratch behind Embry's ears as well. "Who am I riding?" I laughed, standing in-between the huge puppies (because that's exactly what they acted like) and resting a hand on each one's shoulder. Embry nodded his head to Quil, who was laying on his stomach so I could better climb on top of him.

Doing so, I wound my hands into his thick fur to make sure I wouldn't fall off. All of the sudden, it hit me. I would see Jake soon. Make him come home. Choose him…the thought slipped out of my mind before I could stop it. Do I really want to choose him? What about Edward? What happens if I leave him? He always said he'd be fine with it, but would he go back to the Volturi? I shook my head, trying to clear my head of all thought. Focus on finding Jake, I told myself. Then you can worry about everything else.

:

I could see him in a manner of minutes. Thinking back to our plans, I knew I had to restrain from shouting out to him. The boys stopped, looking to my backpack. "Oh!" I whispered, dropping it off my back. Awkwardly, I turned around. "Erm, well, I'll just wait for you to be done then." Seconds later, a warm hand fell upon my shoulder. I jumped, suppressing my scream.

Quil laughed from behind me, wearing a pair of cut-off shorts and a plain t-shirt. Embry, who stood next to him, was in much the same thing. "Here ya go," Quil handed the backpack to me, still laughing.

I looked to him and then out to where I saw Jake lying on the ground. "Um…"

This time it was Embry who pushed me. "Just go to him, Bella. You know what to do."

I nodded once, looking hesitantly behind me as I slowly made my way to where Jake was.

As I neared him, my panic subsided and relief set in. He wasn't hurt, or at least he wasn't visibly injured. Just as I sat silently onto the forest floor beside him, a brown eye looked up at me in confusion.

"Jake…" I breathed out before I flung myself onto his soft fur. "Oh, Jake…I love you."


End file.
